Alzheimer's Devastating Curse 1

On October 17th, 2012 I sent out this email to my family, friends and anyone that I could think of who knew or loved my mother:

After prayerful consideration I am compelled to let everyone know just what is going on with my Mom/Vicki

so that no one is shocked or left out and understands exactly where she is and why.  This does not come lightly but is necessary as mom loves each of you and you have been an integral part of her life at some point and would not be fair to her to not give everyone the ability to see her.

As you know by now or have heard through the grapevine that Mom/Vicki has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's/Dementia & she will be 64 on February 18, 2013.

This diagnosis occurred a little over 2 years ago.  As with Mom she's always done things a little different and her disease seems to be going along with her in that way.  I have been forced to see first hand exactly what this disease can do to someone you love.  

Mom has over the past 2-3 years gone from someone who drove to Walmart everyday, several times a day, to calling Brother, Annette

and myself countless times a day to calling us at all hours 24/7 with no rhyme or reason other than to say I love you or just sit there to someone

that cannot carry a conversation.  She first has always been a "jolly lolly" person happy in her own little world and able to be in the real one

with God's grace and a smile on her face to someone who now stares blankly.  

She smiles so sweetly when we come to see her, and she will talk to me but only answer what I ask and it is not a quick response, half the time I have to guess and she will yes or no till we get it and then giggle a little.  This is precious time that I thank God for and we have it often.  

Her face is still young, beautiful and eyes still so blue, however, she has lost so many teeth it is alarming.  I bring this to your attention so when you come see her you will not be shocked by her appearance because as I see it all the time it is troubling.  Genetics, medications etc... have aided in the tooth loss, which is mainly on the top.  

Last year she would roll all around in her wheelchair and now she just sits in it.   She managed to move the wheels 1'' a couple of weeks ago with some prompting but it was hard for her so that is it.  She spends most of the time in her bed or her wheel chair. 

 She loves to color but only on certain days.  She speaks in full sentences when I bring Holly my Pomeranian who is her approved therapy dog. 

 Her upper mobility is slow but she holds Holly, pets her or plays with the zipper on her travel bag.  Mom will move the hair from my eyes  and hold my hand. She loves to be hugged. 

 I received a call this past weekend from the nursing home telling me that they needed to send Mom to the hospital because her sodium level was extremely high and she was dehydrated.  The Doctor informed me that her sodium level was critical and he had her on IV drip to re-hydrate her.  

When I met with the nursing staff to address my concerns before going to the hospital, they informed me that she would not eat or drink and that her jaw was locked down.  They did all they could do to assist but were worried and so they sent her via ambulance to Harris Methodist where she was re-hydrated and back to her "normal" state.  They ordered another swallow study.  I say another because I authorized one back in September for speech eval and swallowing.  She can swallow, the issue now is she forgets.  :((

They think she could have had a TIA, mini stroke or the disease has progressed to this state and this will come and go.  For now, she is good and back to pureed food at a feeding table.  Mom does feed her self but needs help if she forgets.  She cannot straighten her legs any longer either.  

The disease has drastically taken over and she is at the end stage 7. 

 This is what I need for each and everyone to understand; research yourself and be aware of the time we have left with her

as the person we love before her mind is totally erased by this devastating, gut wrenching, sad, nasty, horrible curse of a disease.

I know that she might not remember everyone but those who truly know her I urge you to please come see her, she might not speak but her smile and her

eyes will let you know she recognizes you and she might just speak, try, try and don't give up.

This letter, however, inspired her sisters, her nephew, a beautiful letter from a dear old friend for me and one sent to her, a couple of flower arrangements and a high school friend to visit but even with this not my brother, her son.  :(       I have prayed for God to restore my family and that is where I am leaving this.

This picture was Christmas Eve 12/24/12  We got her to smile and keep it long enough for our photo!  My daughter and I see her 2-3 times a week with the exception of this flu season and we love her dearly.  To me she is exactly the Mom I know, by the way she lights up when she sees me, yet still wants to move the piece of hair that I think purposely falls so she can move it; and when I ask her she can lift her arms to hug me.  It may not be the hugs of past but my heart melts and without her seeing I dry my eyes and say goodbye.  I always think I won't cry but God knows my heart, love and compassion plus grief for her and well He gets me through.  

I received a call yesterday that she had a UTI, and they had trouble waking her and that during her lunch she passed out, they said fell asleep but I knew better.  I was very concerned that she was suffering from severe dehydration again and my suspicion was correct.  I received a call this afternoon to tell me that they were sending her to the hospital; again.   

In that moment my guard dog personality began questioning why this happened again, explaining that her dad my Grandfather was a MD, my Grandmother was a nurse, that I myself was on the academic Deans List in college where I was studying to be a nurse and that the only reason I was not one is I did not get into my school of choice.  I informed them that I had just submitted my Guardianship report and said that I had listed she was being taken care of and now I was on the verge of calling the Probate Court and speaking to the Judge to inform them of what was going on!  At that moment the Nurse on the phone said the Director of Nurses would like to talk with me.

I explained to her how frustrated I was and she calmly explained to me that Mom over the past couple of days had been "pocketing" food and became dehydrated.  I told her that yesterday the Nurse had told me she had a UTI and he thought the medication was causing her to pass out and not wake.  I let him know then and her that I knew that was not the issue.  I asked them to write on her chart to take her Sodium Levels 1st

before running UTI's and then spending 2 days in limbo for the freaking tests to be ran so that she is now critically dehydrated.  She then asked me if I'd thought about hospice?  

My heart broke and my anger and business sense flew right out the window and I started crying uncontrollably.  I have spoken with one of my friends who works at the nursing home where my mother is and told her everything.  She calmly explained to me how hospice would care for my Mom, make her comfortable, treat her like she's on cloud nine.  She then explained that it doesn't mean death's door only, that there is another resident there that has had hospice since 2001.  I feel much better about everything and now have a new "to do" for my mom.  I will find her hospice to make her everyday life better and we will go from there.   God help me and guide me through in all I do, Amen.  

My precious Mom, Vicki Lasley...... I love you with all my heart!